Dear Peanut Butter,I'm really sorry about the way we broke a few months ago. I just decided that our relationship was too unhealthy--for both us. I was overweight, and you kept getting eaten all the time. When we got together, I just couldn't stop myself; you are just too delicious. I needed some space.
Things have been hard for me ever since we broke up. I'm sure they've been hard for you, too. I'm sorry if I've made things confusing for you. Those few non-committal snack-out sessions we've had certainly didn't help. I'm sorry if I lead you to believe we'd be getting back together sometime soon.
The good news is that I've lost almost 10 pounds since we broke up. Check out this graph from the Wii Fit:
(And no, I didn't photoshop the results; it just looks funny because it wouldn't all fit in one screen, so I had to put two pictures together. The results are accurate.) Now I can't say for certain that it's all because of our breakup. It might be because I've been eating much healthier sandwiches since then, and the fact that I've been running a lot on the weekends. All I know is that breaking up was the right decision. I've felt really good the past couple of months.I'm sorry, I know you really want to get back together. So do I. I think about you all the time. But I just can't do it. Not yet, anyway. I do see us getting back together someday, but we can't get together with the same passion we used to have. Give me about 15 more pounds, and then I'll give you a call. But we're going to have to be just friends. I promise, it will be better for both of us.
Hope you are doing ok without me. I'll talk to you later.
Love,
Sam
3 comments:
I hope you and Peanut Butter can get back together soon. You made such a great couple.
I can't wait to see the blog post where we see you going on a peanut butter binge. Covered head to toe in peanut butter hiding under a bed. Please post pics when this happens.
You are hilarious, Sam! I love it.
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